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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

23rd November 2006, Thursday

Despair

She has a smile upon her face,
The widest of smiles, put in place.
Her eyes do shine, oh so bright,
But deep inside she's full of fright.
The happy face is for all to see,
But the fright inside She bears to me.
Suffering from inner pain,
Wondering if she'll feel loved again.
She's crying out for love...
Someone to share her affection.
She's feeling all alone right now...
Never crying out for attention.
She's holding out for hopes and dreams,
To search and find what life truly means.
With a heart like hers I just wish she knew,
That one day for sure she'll get what's due.
Now if you search into her mind,
There's a feeling there you’re sure to find.
It's a feeling of insecurity; she has to learn to lose,
She needs to let these feelings go,
As with them comes the blues.

She has to gain her confidence,
And again learn to trust.
For in this life it’s plain to see,
Those feelings are a must.
Then one day I am sure we'll see,
That happy smile that's meant to be,
And the brightness that shines from her eyes,
Will be from excitement and a mind that's wise.

A good friend of mine sent me this poem. She says it’s like describing me now. I know I didn’t make a wrong choice in doing what I did. Emptiness is getting to me perhaps? I do not seem to know what’s up in me. I’m going nuts with him popping into my mind all the time. I confided with my good friend and I thank her for being there, for listening, for understanding, for everything. I don’t even have to open my mouth to thank her or anything. It’s all understood. Glad to have found a friend in her. If I didn’t fail my CKT paper during first semester, and she didn’t approach to sit next to me. I wouldn’t have found this friend at all. Slowly, as days passed, we became fast friends. Sometimes how interesting life can be. Thinking back, if I didn’t fail my paper, if that day I wasn’t sitting alone, I wouldn’t have… Life’s like that I guess. So full of what ifs’ and all that. My friends always know they can count on me being there if they really need me. But good friends are hard to find. Someone that you can trust can count on when you’re in need. Friends come and go out of our lives, to find one that is a true friend is hard. And I’m grateful to have found several true friends. I will get out of this pit and move on. I know I can, with the help of friends and I know I can do it. He’s out of my life and he’ll have to stay out. Life still goes on. I will become the happy person I always was again!

25th November 2006, Saturday

A usual working weekend Saturday for me! Boy, do I get sick of this life sometimes! It’s like I have no life at all. Everything circles around school and work. Time management’s the key point here I guess. Still surviving well after two years of this type of life. How time had flown past. One moment I had just finished ‘o’ levels, the next I just entered poly, now, almost two years in poly and graduating in a year’s time. Although I seem to have an extremely packed schedule all the time, I don’t know how I actually managed to squeeze time out for friends, for movies, for outings. I’m amazed at myself sometimes I dare say.

As I have not quit the other job yet, so I have two jobs in hand now. Good thing I wasn’t schedule to work at airport today. If not, I’m sure going to concuss once my head reach the pillow when I get home after work! As it’s a Saturday, I’m quite sure there’s going to be hordes of people. Sometimes I do wonder where the people come from anyway, it’s like it’s crowed everywhere!

Great! I had to get myself somewhat lost the first day I’m starting work at Ikea. That’s how blur I am, I’m horrible at directions, wonder how I’ll get around in Singapore when I learn to drive next time in the future. Ha-ha.

Suppose to start work at five, but not knowing exactly where to report to took up some time. Ask here and there, called my supervisor. All I was doing was walking back and forth, being directed here and there. Luckily, saw a couple of the new friends I’ve made at the briefing the other day. So I just followed them as I knew not the way since it was my first day being there.

It was not the official opening yet, but today it was opened just for Ikea’s members. Luckily I was attached to another cashier together, if not, I sure would have panic. Having forgotten some of the stuff that I was taught at training at Alexander which was like awhile ago.

Gosh! I definitely love this! First, it’s much easier a job compared to the airport job I have. All I got to do is collect payment. Second, it’s more like I’m having fun than working. It doesn’t seem as though I’m working. More like I’m going there to play and get paid for it! This should be the way, isn’t it? You’re supposed to enjoy your job, not dread it. As it was only opened for members, there weren’t that much people. I suppose on the official opening day for public, there will be hordes of people flooding in!

I definitely like this Ikea “family”. At the end of the day, everyone was thanked for a great job done. An English company sure was different from a “Chinese” one, for I never experienced this type of gratitude at the Crystal Jade Company, under Hong Kong type of people management type I should say. There, all was being aimed at was the flaws, rarely you would hear a compliment about a job well done. Not that I’m criticizing the company, but everywhere, there’ll definitely be flaws all that. No one’s perfect! But they made it sound as though the upper management is very perfect. Well, whatever it is, I’m going to quit there soon. There are good times and bad times and happy that I’ve made a couple of friends that’s worthy.



6:06 PM